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- How Dogs React to Levitating Wiener Posted in Blogs › Humor
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- (VIDEO) Michigan Man Hosts Party of the Century Posted in Blogs › Deep Thoughts with Jake Kelly
- (PIC) The Lingerie that Tanners Father in Law gave to Kayla (tanners fiance) for her bridal shower Posted in Blogs › Deep Thoughts with Jake Kelly
- (PICS) The Cavity Pose! Posted in Blogs › Deep Thoughts with Jake Kelly
- AT WORK SELFIES: Posted in Blogs › Deep Thoughts with Jake Kelly
- RITA ORA FLIRTING?: What Do You Think? Posted in Blogs › Deep Thoughts with Jake Kelly
- Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert battle for title of World's Biggest Star Wars Fan! Posted in Blogs › Humor
- Identical Twins Prank! Posted in Blogs › Humor
- Teen Takes Photo Once A Day For Over Six Years Posted in Blogs › Humor
- Puppy Golden Retriever Comforts Older Dog During Nightmare Posted in Blogs › Humor
- 8-Year-Old Sophia Grace Is the Best Red Carpet Interviewer Ever Posted in Blogs › Humor
- Hodor from Game of Thrones on Family Feud Posted in Blogs › Humor
- Soccer freestyle world champion Sean Garnier poses as an old man and then takes the kids to school (Video) Posted in Blogs › Deep Thoughts with Jake Kelly
- Pawtrait - Simon's Cat Posted in Blogs › Humor
- Dear Kitten Posted in Blogs › Humor
- Dear Kitten Posted in Blogs › Deep Thoughts with Jake Kelly
- UPDATE ON JAKE & TANNER'S REDNECK REGATTA BOAT Posted in Blogs › Deep Thoughts with Jake Kelly
- Jake & Tanner's Boat for Celebrate De Pere Redneck Regatta! Posted in Blogs › Deep Thoughts with Jake Kelly
- AWESOME DAD! (VIDEO) Dad & daughter lip dub Iggy Azalea Posted in Blogs › Deep Thoughts with Jake Kelly
Hello visitor and welcome to the Jake Kelly Profile Page. I would guess you're here to find out exactly how to make your very own "Jake Kelly On-Air Personality."
If that's the case, you're in luck! I have dedicated this whole page on divulging the key personality ingredients and secrets that have been kept hidden from the public for centuries. Here you will find exactly what you need to make your very own at home "JKOAP."
Let's get started.
You need to find a father that made it through the war and loves dark haired waitresses. You need to find a mother that finds a weird looking man that likes to tuck his shirt into his underwear attractive. You need to mix number 1 and 2 together with 3 bottles of wine and bake for 9 months. Carefully take out your new "JKOAP" from the oven, tap gently, place on soft surface and let it cool for a few months. After the cooling takes place, it's now time for the key personality ingredients. This is where the competition have tried and failed because they didn't know what you're about to find out. The secret! The secret personalty ingredients that when mixed together will make a perfect "JKOAP" every time.
Find large bowl, place your "JKOAP" in bowl and sprinkle the key personality ingredient listed below. (The list has been placed in alphabetical order for your convenience)
- Acting younger than age (5 tbsp)
- Beer (1 cup)
- Collecting spoons..... (2 dashes)
- Dungeons and Dragons (4 cups)
- Eating more calories than he burns (6 gallons)
- Fear of public restrooms (6 gallons)
- Giving high fives (5 1/2 cups)
- Hatred for Kelly Ripa (23 cups)
- Incredibly disappointed in Drew Carey as Bob Barker's Replacement (13 tbsp)
- Jealousy of Jennifer Lawrence (because of wanting to play Katniss) (29 tsp)
- Keira Knightley obsession (14 cups)
- Love for Brad Pitt (8 cups)
- Misplacement of car keys constantly (-3 1/2 cups)
- Not a fan of Demi Lavato (13 tbsp)
- Obsessed with Keira Knightley (1 tsp)
- Peeing outside (5 1/2 gallons)
- Quick eater (2 tbsp)
- Really likes reading (3 pints)
- Sorta likes Mini Coopers (4 tbsp)
- Tattoos (74 cups)
- Un-attracted to overly buff women (2 1/2 gallons)
- Very obsessed with Keira Knightley (12 cups)
- Waking up to bacon (10 tbsp)
- Xtra sensitive on movie subjects (14 pints)
- Yoga pants (on women not men) (12 pints)
- Zombies (2 cups)
Mix key personalty ingredients into large bowl. Let sit and watch the magic happen. Remember, equal parts of water, sunlight and re-runs of "Saved by the Bell."
As you watch your new "JKOAP" start to grow, you will find him wanting to experience all the things in life right away. I encourage you to let this happen!
Be careful, be strict and have fun.
P.S. If your Jake Kelly ever sets the Couch on fire at age 11... Please go easy on him.